The most common UTI questions that my patients ask me

A 2016 study found that when men were told about the menopause and how to manage it, their partners reported a significantly improved quality of life, with fewer physical and psychological symptoms.

When we asked our community to name the members of their support network who had been there for them during menopause, ‘partner’ was the least selected option.

Although many men are aware of what their partners may be experiencing, they often show little knowledge of the symptoms.

Whatever you’re worrying about, we’re already talking about. There’s nothing you can say that will shock us. Take the next step and join our community. Leave all taboos at the door and come on in!

Meet Jimmy and Angela

Every person’s menopause – the leaks, sweats, memory slips, emotional fragility – is their own unique, messy, hormonal whirlwind.

Meet community member Angela and her husband Jimmy who came together to share both sides of the menopause journey.

Angela: Jimmy and I met in hospital as children. I was five and he was seven. He gave me an ice lolly and we stayed friends. Years later, we met up again in a nightclub, rekindled our friendship, and got together six weeks after that. That was 35 years ago. Jimmy does the cooking, so I joke that he fed me when I was five and he’s still feeding me now! My menopause kicked in hard at 46. I’d had a total hysterectomy following ovarian cancer. The after-effect was severe — I felt frightened, panicky, and I couldn’t stop crying. We had recently made some new friends with whom we got on well, but I remember writing to them explaining that I’m not normally like this!

Jimmy: It was a difficult time. I wasn’t sure what to do and I didn’t really understand how she was feeling inside. If I was overprotective, it made things worse. So, I kept an eye on her and let her work it out for herself. The odd bar of chocolate seemed to help though!

“People do tell you about the physical aspects, but not about the emotional stuff.”

Angela: I learned such a lot about myself during this time. To start with, I matter! I used to put myself in a load of boxes – Angela the wife, Angela the daughter, Angela the mother, Angela the twin, Angela the manager. But I’ve discovered that it’s possible for all of these to be aspects of the same really happy person. Now I let people in, colleagues and children alike, so that they see me as a fully rounded person in my own right. What I’ve learned about Jimmy is that I can rely on him, and he’ll never hurt me either physically or emotionally. No matter what I did or how badly I behaved, he never reacted negatively.

Jimmy: She’s a bit more open and up for doing different things now – new hobbies, a more active life, going out on weekends. The way we live has changed, too – we’re a lot more together.